By Chiom Gabriel
To what extent would you defend the one you love and protect him or her? Would you fight for his love or would you join those maligning him/her? Would you share in his shame,his low moments or would you look the other way and leave him to face it?In this edition, our contributor Nelson shares his love story with our readers .She was a whore but I loved her and kept her, Nelson, 35I knew from the first time I met Edwina that she was not telling me everything but I was bent on finding out who she really was and when I did, it was not something to write home about. Edwina told me she was a 200 level student at Lagos State University and lived at Iba Estate when I met her. I asked what I thought were the necessary questions and felt convinced that she was a Micro-Biology student like she told me. It took me about three years to find out the truth.
At the time Edwina was supposed to graduate, she did not and when I asked her, she said she went on probation for one year and that delayed her. The probation was supposed to be due to her poor academic performance in which case, she should have registered for another course after but she didn’t. Edwina kept coming up with one reason or the other for her long stay in the university. Besides, the occasional lecturers strike,mycalculations revealed she must have been in the university for about six years and yet had not completed her course of study.
I became worried about her and decided to help her out in the any I could because I came to the realisation that I really loved her. I got my younger sister who studied the Sciences to help her but after one week, my sister came to me to say she didn’t believe my girl was an undergraduate because she knew nothing about elementary sciences not to talk of Micro-Biology. I told her to give her more time and after three weeks, my sister sounded more convinced in her belief that Edwina could not have completed secondary school. I was baffled by my sister’s position because Edwina’s spoken English was rich. It got to the stage that Edwina lost interest in being coached by my sister. She complained my sister was harsh and asked her questions like a secondary school examiner. I realised that a monstrous enemity was developing between my sister and my girl. None of them had anything good to say about the other and to avoid being caught in the middle, I stopped Edwina from taking further lessons from my sister.
Apart from the many questions about her academic situation, Edwina appeared to be a nice girl. She was a very good cook and was wonderful in bed. Her character seemed okay to me and I decided to have her for keeps. The only area I needed to sort out was her academics. I also took cognisance of the fact that lecturers could set traps for a beautiful girl which could be responsible for the delay in her graduation.
One Saturday afternoon, my peeps came around and one of them said he was going to LASU to see a new girlfriend in the Faculty of Sciences. The new girlfriend turned out to be a 400 level Micro-Biology student and I jumped at the opportunity to meet someone that could be of help to Edwina. But to my greatest shock, the girlfriend didn’t know any Edwina but pointed out to me that there were many imposters in the universities who deceived their parents and loved ones into believing they were students.
Eventually, we took this matter to the department level but there was no name like hers. We checked other faculties. It took me over a month to uncover Edwina.She told me on a public holiday that she had lectures fixed by one of the lecturers and so, I offered to drive her to the lectures. But I returned soon after and saw Edwina hanging out alone. I approached my guy’s girlfriend and pointed her out as the student we were searching for but the girl laughed and asked me if I don’t know her, that she was a whore. I almost slapped her for saying that and before I knew it, I saw a big car stopped by and picked her. I ran as fast as my steps could carry me to stand in the middle of the road to stop the car. The guy driving came out and asked if I was mad but I told him he had my woman in his car and that I wanted her to come down. I ran to Edwina’s side but she kept a straight face, as if I dropped from the moon, as if she had never seen me. I was in tears pleading with her to come down but the guy drove off, calling me a stupid man for fighting over an ‘ashawo’.
I didn’t believe him still and I hoped Edwina would at least come to my house to pick her stuff but when she didn’t come after two weeks, I followed the direction she gave me initially to her brother’s place but discovered he knew nothing about her whereabout. I told him some of the things I found out but he said he wasn’t the one paying her school fees and wasn’t sure she was in school. He told me it would be a miracle if truly Edwina was an undergraduate because she dropped out of school in SS2 and nobody knew her whereabouts.But Edwina miscalculated. She must have been watching me because she came to my apartment in my absence to take her stuff and that was where I met her that day I visited her brother.
She threw herself down and wept like a baby while she begged for forgiveness saying she didn’t know how to tell me. She told me she went to the university hoping she would break through but did not succeed after many years. She said there are a lot of girls like her who parade themselves as undergraduates but are not.Some are into prostitution and all kinds of things but they always use the universities as their base.I didn’t sack her. We are still together and she sat for the last JAMB. By the grace of God, she will make it this year.
Thursday, 17 September 2009
Monday, 10 August 2009
10 THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE MARRIAGE
Ten Things to Consider Before Marria
1।MARRIAGE IS A LIFE LONG COMMITMENT"So they are no longer two,but one।Therefore what God has joined together,let man not seperate।""Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard।But it was not this way from the beginning." Matthew 19:6-8.2.YOUR MARRIAGE WILL GO THROUGH TOUGH TIMES,BUT REMEMBER IT'S A LIFELONG COMMITMENT."Consider it pure joy,my brothers,whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance." James 1:2.3.BE A SERVANT TO YOUR SPOUSE,PUTTING HER NEEDS BEFORE YOUR OWN"Love is patient,love is kind.It does not envy,it does not boast,it is not proud.It is not rude,it is not self-seeking,it is not easily angered,it keeps no record of wrongs." 1Corithians 13:4-54.LEARN TO FORGIVE AND FORGET"For if you forgive men when they sin against you,your heavenly Father will also forgive you.But if you do not forgive men their sins,your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15.5.ADMIT WHEN YOU ARE WRONG,AND SEEK RECONCILIATION WITH YOUR SPOUSE"Therefore,if you are offering a gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,leave your gift there in front of the altar.First go and be reconciled to your brother;then come and offer your gift." Matthew 5:23-24.6.MAKE PLANS TOGETHER,BUT DON'T BE SURPRISED WHEN THINGS DO NOT TURN OUT THE WAY YOU PLANNED."Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is His good,pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2.7.COMMUNICATE OFTEN,BUT DON'T TRY TO CHANGE YOUR PARTNER.INSTEAD,TRY TO ENCOURAGE AND STRENGTHEN EACH OTHER.YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOUR PARTNER,BUT YOU CAN CHANGE YOURSELF."Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?How can you say to your brother, 'Brother,let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye?You hypocrite,first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Luke 6:41-42.8.DON'T DEPEND ON YOUR PARTNER TO FILL ALL YOUR NEEDS.ONLY GOD CAN DO THAT."Cursed is the one who trusts in man,depends on flesh for his strength whose heart turns away from the LORD." Jeremiah 17:5 9. A HUSBAND MUST BE WILLING TO FILL HIS GOD-GIVEN ROLE"Husbands,love your wives,just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy,cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,and to present her to Himself a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish,but holy and blameless.In this same way,husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.He who loves his wife loves himself." Ephesians 5:25-28.10. A WIFE MUST BE WILLING TO FILL HER GOD-GIVEN ROLE"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,His body,of which He is the Saviour.Now as the church submits to Christ,so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:22-24.
More ofsimilar articles on marriage,courtship,how TO choose a marriage partner,christian singles counseling at .naijachristiansingles.com/Forum
1।MARRIAGE IS A LIFE LONG COMMITMENT"So they are no longer two,but one।Therefore what God has joined together,let man not seperate।""Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?" Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard।But it was not this way from the beginning." Matthew 19:6-8.2.YOUR MARRIAGE WILL GO THROUGH TOUGH TIMES,BUT REMEMBER IT'S A LIFELONG COMMITMENT."Consider it pure joy,my brothers,whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance." James 1:2.3.BE A SERVANT TO YOUR SPOUSE,PUTTING HER NEEDS BEFORE YOUR OWN"Love is patient,love is kind.It does not envy,it does not boast,it is not proud.It is not rude,it is not self-seeking,it is not easily angered,it keeps no record of wrongs." 1Corithians 13:4-54.LEARN TO FORGIVE AND FORGET"For if you forgive men when they sin against you,your heavenly Father will also forgive you.But if you do not forgive men their sins,your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15.5.ADMIT WHEN YOU ARE WRONG,AND SEEK RECONCILIATION WITH YOUR SPOUSE"Therefore,if you are offering a gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,leave your gift there in front of the altar.First go and be reconciled to your brother;then come and offer your gift." Matthew 5:23-24.6.MAKE PLANS TOGETHER,BUT DON'T BE SURPRISED WHEN THINGS DO NOT TURN OUT THE WAY YOU PLANNED."Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is His good,pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2.7.COMMUNICATE OFTEN,BUT DON'T TRY TO CHANGE YOUR PARTNER.INSTEAD,TRY TO ENCOURAGE AND STRENGTHEN EACH OTHER.YOU CANNOT CHANGE YOUR PARTNER,BUT YOU CAN CHANGE YOURSELF."Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?How can you say to your brother, 'Brother,let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye?You hypocrite,first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Luke 6:41-42.8.DON'T DEPEND ON YOUR PARTNER TO FILL ALL YOUR NEEDS.ONLY GOD CAN DO THAT."Cursed is the one who trusts in man,depends on flesh for his strength whose heart turns away from the LORD." Jeremiah 17:5 9. A HUSBAND MUST BE WILLING TO FILL HIS GOD-GIVEN ROLE"Husbands,love your wives,just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy,cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,and to present her to Himself a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish,but holy and blameless.In this same way,husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.He who loves his wife loves himself." Ephesians 5:25-28.10. A WIFE MUST BE WILLING TO FILL HER GOD-GIVEN ROLE"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,His body,of which He is the Saviour.Now as the church submits to Christ,so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:22-24.
More ofsimilar articles on marriage,courtship,how TO choose a marriage partner,christian singles counseling at .naijachristiansingles.com/Forum
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
Someone at the valley of decision...help needed!
Judith, (26) works at the Treasury Department of A Finance House. A few months ago, she could not visit her boyfriend Henry, a Banker, for a whole week because another girl was visiting. Her story:
I did not feel comfortable somehow, I felt quiet uneasy, so instead of waiting for him like I would have done, I locked up, put the key back under the door mat and went home. Funny enough, I didn’t leave any of the things (food) I had packed from my Aunty’s party. I mean, it was just unlike me.
Early the next morning, Henry came over to my pace looking quiet uneasy. He was on his annual leave, so, I wasn’t surprised to see him. But when he sat me down and said he had something important to tell me, I knew something was wrong.
He began telling me how wonderful our relationship had been since we started seven months ago. He said he had been happy because its been having positive effects on him.
My heart started to beat faster than normal. I thought he was going to propose to me. I wouldn’t have been surprised since we virtually live in each other homes. Then he told me “she has come”.
I didn’t need to ask whom, because I already knew. It was Shade, his girlfriend who lives in Kano. I have seen some letters written by her and, of course, he’d told me about her too. He said she just burst in on him and he met her at home, when he came back around 7.30pm the previous night.
He pleaded that I bear with him so he could handle the matter in his own way. That he would not want to end their relationship on a bad note for future purposes. He said Shade will be staying over for a week and in the period, I was to keep away from the flat.
I was really pissed off. I asked him what he expected me to do in the meantime. He told me to behave myself and act maturely, after all, we live in Lagos together.
Moreover, Shade knows about me as my things and photographs were all over the apartment. He insisted that he just wanted to settle the matter by himself and didn’t want me involved.
We spent the whole day together. It was a Monday, and he went back home around 10pm So was the pattern of our lives for the next four days. He will come in the morning and pick me, and we will spend the whole day together.
However, he will always go back home to sleep of course, and I will worry myself sick over what they might be doing together in the middle of the night.
Then on Friday morning, he said we were going to the flat. At first, I didn’t want to go, but when he insisted, I gave in. On getting there, I saw Shade’s things packed at a corner in his bedroom but she was no where to be found.
Then he told me that she had not come home for the past two days. According to him, she was visiting her sister and some friends.
We stayed in the house that day and in the evening, I prepared to go back home. That was when I received another shock.
I met Henry’s sister in the living room and she gave me a cold look, then she asked her brother slyly, “wey Shade”? Henry did not answer. I felt cold, insulted and betrayed. I have always been so nice to Gladys that I thought she was my friend.
When I greeted her she didn’t answer me but started scolding me about some clothes I had soaked for washing that Sunday morning before the ordeal began. I had to keep my cool or I would have said something that we might all regret later. When Henry took me home, I couldn’t help it anymore.
I had to tell him my mind and what I felt about his sister’s behaviour. He only continued to plead with me to ignore her, that he would speak to her.
Shade has not come back since then, while I have been searching for evidence to know whether she is still in touch.
All I have found is a letter. When I confronted him with it, he was mad with me. He accused me of trying to look for exhibits to nail him.
He claims he understands my anxiety and apprehensions about the whole thing, but he doesn’t want to do or say anything just to prove a point to me.
He claims he knows what he is doing, and he will do it when he wants to and not under pressure.
I have been trying to keep the episode behind me since then, but then, its not been easy as I keep suspecting him. The only advantage I think I have over Shade is the proximity between Henry and me, otherwise, Shade is probably the choice of his parents and siblings.
They have much in common, having grew up in the same environment and have common friends. The advantage of the proximity here all boils down to sex, which means I could use pregnancy as a bargaining chip. But that is if Henry allows it, or a mistake happens somewhere.
To make matters worse, I just overheard Gladys telling her friend that her brother is just using me for sexual pleasures and will not marry me.
I did not feel comfortable somehow, I felt quiet uneasy, so instead of waiting for him like I would have done, I locked up, put the key back under the door mat and went home. Funny enough, I didn’t leave any of the things (food) I had packed from my Aunty’s party. I mean, it was just unlike me.
Early the next morning, Henry came over to my pace looking quiet uneasy. He was on his annual leave, so, I wasn’t surprised to see him. But when he sat me down and said he had something important to tell me, I knew something was wrong.
He began telling me how wonderful our relationship had been since we started seven months ago. He said he had been happy because its been having positive effects on him.
My heart started to beat faster than normal. I thought he was going to propose to me. I wouldn’t have been surprised since we virtually live in each other homes. Then he told me “she has come”.
I didn’t need to ask whom, because I already knew. It was Shade, his girlfriend who lives in Kano. I have seen some letters written by her and, of course, he’d told me about her too. He said she just burst in on him and he met her at home, when he came back around 7.30pm the previous night.
He pleaded that I bear with him so he could handle the matter in his own way. That he would not want to end their relationship on a bad note for future purposes. He said Shade will be staying over for a week and in the period, I was to keep away from the flat.
I was really pissed off. I asked him what he expected me to do in the meantime. He told me to behave myself and act maturely, after all, we live in Lagos together.
Moreover, Shade knows about me as my things and photographs were all over the apartment. He insisted that he just wanted to settle the matter by himself and didn’t want me involved.
We spent the whole day together. It was a Monday, and he went back home around 10pm So was the pattern of our lives for the next four days. He will come in the morning and pick me, and we will spend the whole day together.
However, he will always go back home to sleep of course, and I will worry myself sick over what they might be doing together in the middle of the night.
Then on Friday morning, he said we were going to the flat. At first, I didn’t want to go, but when he insisted, I gave in. On getting there, I saw Shade’s things packed at a corner in his bedroom but she was no where to be found.
Then he told me that she had not come home for the past two days. According to him, she was visiting her sister and some friends.
We stayed in the house that day and in the evening, I prepared to go back home. That was when I received another shock.
I met Henry’s sister in the living room and she gave me a cold look, then she asked her brother slyly, “wey Shade”? Henry did not answer. I felt cold, insulted and betrayed. I have always been so nice to Gladys that I thought she was my friend.
When I greeted her she didn’t answer me but started scolding me about some clothes I had soaked for washing that Sunday morning before the ordeal began. I had to keep my cool or I would have said something that we might all regret later. When Henry took me home, I couldn’t help it anymore.
I had to tell him my mind and what I felt about his sister’s behaviour. He only continued to plead with me to ignore her, that he would speak to her.
Shade has not come back since then, while I have been searching for evidence to know whether she is still in touch.
All I have found is a letter. When I confronted him with it, he was mad with me. He accused me of trying to look for exhibits to nail him.
He claims he understands my anxiety and apprehensions about the whole thing, but he doesn’t want to do or say anything just to prove a point to me.
He claims he knows what he is doing, and he will do it when he wants to and not under pressure.
I have been trying to keep the episode behind me since then, but then, its not been easy as I keep suspecting him. The only advantage I think I have over Shade is the proximity between Henry and me, otherwise, Shade is probably the choice of his parents and siblings.
They have much in common, having grew up in the same environment and have common friends. The advantage of the proximity here all boils down to sex, which means I could use pregnancy as a bargaining chip. But that is if Henry allows it, or a mistake happens somewhere.
To make matters worse, I just overheard Gladys telling her friend that her brother is just using me for sexual pleasures and will not marry me.
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
Things To Consider If You Don't Want Divorce
You don't want divorce, but if your relationship is rocky and appears to be headed in that general direction, there are some things to consider, some steps you can take to prevent it. While they may not be completely successful, the tips in this article may help and are certainly worth a try if, truly, you don't want divorce.
If you don't want divorce, but your spouse has made his/her intentions clear, don't argue. Don't nag, don't whine, just remain quiet. Complaining or carrying on about how you don't want divorce is not going to help.
State your case simply, that you don't want divorce, and leave it at that. That's all you can do, really, without making matters worse. It might be possible to tell your partner-in a calm moment, of course-that all couples go through this sort of thing, or that counseling might help, but don't harp in these subjects.
If you go on and on about wanting to stay married, you will only make your partner's desire to get away even stronger. Instead of pushing them away, you can try to remind them why they were attracted to you in the first place, not verbally, but by being attractive and desirable again.
You can be assured, you are not being attractive when you are complaining. Have you ever wondered if nagging and complaining might have had something to do with the erosion of your partner's affection and dedication to your marriage?
You will, in effect, begin to court your partner again, if you don't want divorce. This means being attractive and pleasant all the time. How did you behave when the two of first started dating? Were you kind and thoughtful? That's the kind of conduct everyone is capable of, that's what wins people over. It's when the commitment to each other is made that niceties are relaxed and the anxieties people worked so hard to hide start to come out.
Put your worries and whining back in the closet and get back on your very best behavior.
Another ingredient to add in this mix is being congenial. You don't need to agree with everything but don't be argumentative, either. Being agreeable means allowing others to have their opinion without it affecting yours. Arguing your point all the time will make the partner feel like they can never do or say the right thing. That's hardly conducive when you don't want divorce in the picture.
So, if you don't want divorce, learn to allow your partner the space to have their own ideas and opinions and do not force yours down their throat. It's okay to have differing opinions and ideas. It's not okay to fight about who's right. What does it really matter who is right, anyway? If you don't want divorce, then learn to accept your partner as having different ideas.
Just because you don't want divorce does not mean you must change the way you think. It just means that you are working to rescue your relationship and anything that antagonizes the situation is out of the question. Keep your opinions, just keep them to yourself.
If you don't want divorce, then altering your ways for the time being will be required at least until the two of you learn how to get along better.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Danny_Walton
If you don't want divorce, but your spouse has made his/her intentions clear, don't argue. Don't nag, don't whine, just remain quiet. Complaining or carrying on about how you don't want divorce is not going to help.
State your case simply, that you don't want divorce, and leave it at that. That's all you can do, really, without making matters worse. It might be possible to tell your partner-in a calm moment, of course-that all couples go through this sort of thing, or that counseling might help, but don't harp in these subjects.
If you go on and on about wanting to stay married, you will only make your partner's desire to get away even stronger. Instead of pushing them away, you can try to remind them why they were attracted to you in the first place, not verbally, but by being attractive and desirable again.
You can be assured, you are not being attractive when you are complaining. Have you ever wondered if nagging and complaining might have had something to do with the erosion of your partner's affection and dedication to your marriage?
You will, in effect, begin to court your partner again, if you don't want divorce. This means being attractive and pleasant all the time. How did you behave when the two of first started dating? Were you kind and thoughtful? That's the kind of conduct everyone is capable of, that's what wins people over. It's when the commitment to each other is made that niceties are relaxed and the anxieties people worked so hard to hide start to come out.
Put your worries and whining back in the closet and get back on your very best behavior.
Another ingredient to add in this mix is being congenial. You don't need to agree with everything but don't be argumentative, either. Being agreeable means allowing others to have their opinion without it affecting yours. Arguing your point all the time will make the partner feel like they can never do or say the right thing. That's hardly conducive when you don't want divorce in the picture.
So, if you don't want divorce, learn to allow your partner the space to have their own ideas and opinions and do not force yours down their throat. It's okay to have differing opinions and ideas. It's not okay to fight about who's right. What does it really matter who is right, anyway? If you don't want divorce, then learn to accept your partner as having different ideas.
Just because you don't want divorce does not mean you must change the way you think. It just means that you are working to rescue your relationship and anything that antagonizes the situation is out of the question. Keep your opinions, just keep them to yourself.
If you don't want divorce, then altering your ways for the time being will be required at least until the two of you learn how to get along better.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Danny_Walton
Friday, 26 June 2009
SAVE A MARRIAGE ADVICE-3 Tips To Help You Rekindle Your Love
A lot of marriage failed because couples do not take responsibility for the role that they play in a relationship. Very often, blaming the other instead of oneself become the favourite pastime of couples and when there are conflicts, they choose the most convenient mean - walking away instead of trying to save the marriage!
Apparently these couples have short term memories because they are the same individuals who have vowed to support and to love each other through thick and thin! However, divorce has now become an easy way out for people who do not have the courage to salvage what deserves to be salvaged. When couples go through a divorce, they channel all their energies into accusing each other of causing hurt and disharmony in the marriage. They forget that in the process, their children are the ones most deeply hurt! If they have channeled their energies to save the marriage, more than one human being is saved!
So is it possible to save your marriage? Yes, if you had loved each other in the first place, you will definitely be able to rekindle the love and here are 3 ways in which you can save your marriage.
1. Share financial responsibilities Many married couples forget that it takes two hands to clap so now that they are married, both party should be responsible for the family financially. Being married means you are united as one so you should shoulder the burden of raising a family together.
Find out each others' spending style and come to a compromise on how best you can save and at the same time not have to sting on yourself. Spend some time to prioritize what is important to you and to your family, especially if you have children. You need to come to a mutual agreement on how you can divide out the burden of financial responsibility.
2. Never go to bed angry I strongly believe that this is very sound advice to building a lasting relationship because you and your spouse are two very different individuals so there are bound to be conflicts. The important point is that you must find ways to resolve those conflicts. By all means take time off to cool down but after a storm, both of you have to sit down and discuss the issue together. You have to listen to each other and find a solution or come to a compromise but never leave the fight overnight.
It is very unhealthy to go to bed angry and you will only cause a drift in the relationship if you do not try to resolve your problem first. After which, you should forget about the fight and make up for it in bed. It is vital to forget about the problem after the fight had been resolved if you want to save your marriage.
3. Plan time for romance Many married couples forget to plan a time for romance, especially if they have children. In order for a marriage to last long, it is important not to forget to spend time to be intimate. Marriage is not the end of romance, it is the start of a whole new life together. If you sense that something is not right in your relationship, you need to make time for each other so that you can save your marriage.
People are constantly busy nowadays so if you do not find time for your spouse so as to rekindle the love in your relationship, it will hit trouble. It is definitely not worthwhile to spend all your time carving out a career for your family only to discover that you have lost your marriage in the end!
The above are just 3 of the 15 tips in the ebook "15 Steps Towards Improving Your Marriage". Simply apply the strategies in the ebook which you can download immediately and you are on your way to saving your marriage. Don't wait till it's too late to start saving your marriage. You deserve a better life than the present agony and suffering that you are going through. If you have children, you must remember that you are not suffering alone! You do not want your failed marriage to affect your children's psychological development! Seeking the right advice from the right people will help you to save your marriage and start life afresh with your spouse. All you have to do is to take action now and log on to Stella's website at http://www.stellamak.com/recommend/savemarriagetips.html.
You can also grab your 10 ecourse on "Discover the tips to saving your marriage" on Stella's blog at http://www.savemarriage.expertreviewslist.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Stella_Mak
Apparently these couples have short term memories because they are the same individuals who have vowed to support and to love each other through thick and thin! However, divorce has now become an easy way out for people who do not have the courage to salvage what deserves to be salvaged. When couples go through a divorce, they channel all their energies into accusing each other of causing hurt and disharmony in the marriage. They forget that in the process, their children are the ones most deeply hurt! If they have channeled their energies to save the marriage, more than one human being is saved!
So is it possible to save your marriage? Yes, if you had loved each other in the first place, you will definitely be able to rekindle the love and here are 3 ways in which you can save your marriage.
1. Share financial responsibilities Many married couples forget that it takes two hands to clap so now that they are married, both party should be responsible for the family financially. Being married means you are united as one so you should shoulder the burden of raising a family together.
Find out each others' spending style and come to a compromise on how best you can save and at the same time not have to sting on yourself. Spend some time to prioritize what is important to you and to your family, especially if you have children. You need to come to a mutual agreement on how you can divide out the burden of financial responsibility.
2. Never go to bed angry I strongly believe that this is very sound advice to building a lasting relationship because you and your spouse are two very different individuals so there are bound to be conflicts. The important point is that you must find ways to resolve those conflicts. By all means take time off to cool down but after a storm, both of you have to sit down and discuss the issue together. You have to listen to each other and find a solution or come to a compromise but never leave the fight overnight.
It is very unhealthy to go to bed angry and you will only cause a drift in the relationship if you do not try to resolve your problem first. After which, you should forget about the fight and make up for it in bed. It is vital to forget about the problem after the fight had been resolved if you want to save your marriage.
3. Plan time for romance Many married couples forget to plan a time for romance, especially if they have children. In order for a marriage to last long, it is important not to forget to spend time to be intimate. Marriage is not the end of romance, it is the start of a whole new life together. If you sense that something is not right in your relationship, you need to make time for each other so that you can save your marriage.
People are constantly busy nowadays so if you do not find time for your spouse so as to rekindle the love in your relationship, it will hit trouble. It is definitely not worthwhile to spend all your time carving out a career for your family only to discover that you have lost your marriage in the end!
The above are just 3 of the 15 tips in the ebook "15 Steps Towards Improving Your Marriage". Simply apply the strategies in the ebook which you can download immediately and you are on your way to saving your marriage. Don't wait till it's too late to start saving your marriage. You deserve a better life than the present agony and suffering that you are going through. If you have children, you must remember that you are not suffering alone! You do not want your failed marriage to affect your children's psychological development! Seeking the right advice from the right people will help you to save your marriage and start life afresh with your spouse. All you have to do is to take action now and log on to Stella's website at http://www.stellamak.com/recommend/savemarriagetips.html.
You can also grab your 10 ecourse on "Discover the tips to saving your marriage" on Stella's blog at http://www.savemarriage.expertreviewslist.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Stella_Mak
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
Can Long Distance Relationships Really Work?
The answer is a resounding "YES!"
I've received thousands of letters from people throughout the world who conquered distance in their relationships and now live happily ever after!
Shortly after I graduated from school, I experienced a long distance relationship. After graduation, I discovered that there were no relationship help or relationship advice books written on long distance love & relationships, overcoming long distance, relationship problems in long distance relationships, long distance romance, marriages or dating ...
Even though millions of people like me were going through the same thing!
Everyone told me my relationship couldn't work ...but that's not true...and I wanted to share that with other couples
There are things that youcan do to LOVE your long distance relationship!
Distance is not the end of the world in a relationship
Distance cannot, and will not hurt a bond between two people that is based on mutual respect, trust, commitment, and love.
Although you may feel like you are losing faith in your relationship at times, hold fast and trust your heart!
I, like you, truly believe that love & relationships are what make your life special, and that ones built on love & understanding are always worth preserving, regardless of the miles that may separate two people.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
All across the world, there are couples just like you who are crazy about each other but are forced by circumstance to live apart...
University students try to concentrate while writing love letters on the Internet to "hometown honeys"...
Executives climb the corporate ladder while their true love waits for their call hundreds of miles away...
Members of our armed forces who protect freedom worldwide...
New lovers who meet while browsing online dating communities ...
Even Hollywood stars, who must sustain love & relationships and marriages while making movies in different countries...
Commuter marriages, online dating, bicoastal romance, long distance love on the Internet...
The fact is that more than 10 million couples worldwide are coping with long distance relationships ... and that number is increasing daily!
In the Loving Your Long Distance Relationship series you'll find valuable relationship advice and discover the secrets to keeping love hot, avoiding relationship problems, and escaping temptation
_________________________________________________
I loved reading your book! Do you know that I started crying once I began reading your introduction? It described my emotions to a "T"Mayra, California, USA
I loved your book, thank you soooooo much! You helped me to believe that I'm going to have a future with my long-distance relationship.Chiara, Milano, Italy
_________________________________________________
Inside Loving Your Long Distance Relationship you'll find relationship help, relationship advice, & tips on ...
How to cope with saying goodbye again and again
The emotional stages of a long distance relationship
Ways to combat out-of-sight / out-of-mind temptations
The key to preventing phone arguments
Fascinating stories of people living apart & making it work
How living apart can actually strengthen a relationship
Why long distance love is different for Women versus Men
Warning signs that your relationship may be ending
After reading Loving Your Long Distance Relationship you'll be able to avoid potential relationship problems ...and realize how easy it is to stay together while you're apart from the one you love
Need a copy of this great e-Book, go to: - http://tinyurl.com/mpsa5c
I've received thousands of letters from people throughout the world who conquered distance in their relationships and now live happily ever after!
Shortly after I graduated from school, I experienced a long distance relationship. After graduation, I discovered that there were no relationship help or relationship advice books written on long distance love & relationships, overcoming long distance, relationship problems in long distance relationships, long distance romance, marriages or dating ...
Even though millions of people like me were going through the same thing!
Everyone told me my relationship couldn't work ...but that's not true...and I wanted to share that with other couples
There are things that youcan do to LOVE your long distance relationship!
Distance is not the end of the world in a relationship
Distance cannot, and will not hurt a bond between two people that is based on mutual respect, trust, commitment, and love.
Although you may feel like you are losing faith in your relationship at times, hold fast and trust your heart!
I, like you, truly believe that love & relationships are what make your life special, and that ones built on love & understanding are always worth preserving, regardless of the miles that may separate two people.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
All across the world, there are couples just like you who are crazy about each other but are forced by circumstance to live apart...
University students try to concentrate while writing love letters on the Internet to "hometown honeys"...
Executives climb the corporate ladder while their true love waits for their call hundreds of miles away...
Members of our armed forces who protect freedom worldwide...
New lovers who meet while browsing online dating communities ...
Even Hollywood stars, who must sustain love & relationships and marriages while making movies in different countries...
Commuter marriages, online dating, bicoastal romance, long distance love on the Internet...
The fact is that more than 10 million couples worldwide are coping with long distance relationships ... and that number is increasing daily!
In the Loving Your Long Distance Relationship series you'll find valuable relationship advice and discover the secrets to keeping love hot, avoiding relationship problems, and escaping temptation
_________________________________________________
I loved reading your book! Do you know that I started crying once I began reading your introduction? It described my emotions to a "T"Mayra, California, USA
I loved your book, thank you soooooo much! You helped me to believe that I'm going to have a future with my long-distance relationship.Chiara, Milano, Italy
_________________________________________________
Inside Loving Your Long Distance Relationship you'll find relationship help, relationship advice, & tips on ...
How to cope with saying goodbye again and again
The emotional stages of a long distance relationship
Ways to combat out-of-sight / out-of-mind temptations
The key to preventing phone arguments
Fascinating stories of people living apart & making it work
How living apart can actually strengthen a relationship
Why long distance love is different for Women versus Men
Warning signs that your relationship may be ending
After reading Loving Your Long Distance Relationship you'll be able to avoid potential relationship problems ...and realize how easy it is to stay together while you're apart from the one you love
Need a copy of this great e-Book, go to: - http://tinyurl.com/mpsa5c
Fix Your Troubled Marriage!
Are you living in a troubled marriage? Are you bummed, because your marriage is not that perfect marriage you visualized for you and your partner? We are going to tell you something you should know, but if you don't, you are not alone। There is no such thing as a perfect marriage। Well, maybe on television, but not in real life. While there are no perfect marriages, there are lots of troubled marriages. That's probably not a great deal of help to you; unless it makes you feel better that you are not alone.
There are several issues that can help give rise to problems in a marriage। A vast majority of the big problems faced in a troubled marriage are because one or a number of little problems, have not been dealt with so they got significantly bigger। It can be explained by the famous line from the movie, Cool Hand Luke with Paul Newman। "What we've got here is a failure to communicate." By not communicating, the partners in the marriage allow an issue to fester and grow until it becomes big enough to lead to a troubled marriage.
You have to face it, communication in a marriage is like the oxygen you need for breathing। If oxygen is removed from a fire, it goes out. Maybe that is what happened to the passion in your marriage. If a person stops breathing, they need CPR or they die. If couples stop communicating, it is the marriage that needs resuscitation. Without it, you can't expect to save your marriage and it will die.
If you find yourself in this situation, you need to get realistic। Accept the truth that there is no perfect marriage and that the responsibility to open a line of communication with your partner rests with you. There is really no upside to a competition between partners based on the "cold shoulder" method of communication and this can be a common marriage problem. If you are not willing to be the first one to speak but then blame your partner for not talking to you, think about it, that's just plain crazy!
Once you get realistic and become responsible for the sharing and communication necessary to deal with the issues in your troubled marriage, you well be helping to resuscitate and hopefully, save your marriage। Once the line of communication is open, each partner must be willing to help identify and recognize the things that are troubling the marriage.
After each partner has shared their communication around the issues they see as marriage problems, then both partners have to start the work to identify what can be done to fix that problem in your marriage। This is where the most critical step to saving your troubled marriage comes in to the mix. You are actually sharing solutions you see that can save your marriage and it is so important simply because it is not easy.
This critical step is about getting agreements। No solution is worth even a dime if both partners can't agree that it is in fact, a solution. Take the time to get firm agreement because if one of you isn't truly committed to this solution, you do not have an agreement! When an agreement is reached, you have come to the most important step. Write It Down! Once you have the list of agreements, make a copy for each partner. One of your agreements should be that each of you will put it in a prominent place where they will see it on a regular basis and that you will come together regularly to review it over an agreed on period of time.
While finding a solution like developing firm agreements, can be a very difficult task, it is of immediate and critical importance that you be willing to secure the tools and resources that can support you in saving your marriage। Fortunately Amy Waterman and Richard Wheeler have created a step by step guide for you to follow and save your marriage. Their program has several tools and activities, like agreement sharing, that will help you save your marriage right now.
This guide is called Save My Marriage Today, and it has all the techniques necessary to enable you to facilitate resolving conflicts, increase self esteem, learn about forgiveness, and re-ignite the passion that you both once felt, all within the privacy and comfort of your own home. Save yourself the time and embarrassment of explaining it all to a counselor. Get the answers to your most urgent issues right now! You are the best one to save your marriage. Let us show you how. It may be the best advice you have ever had!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Carol_Ann_James
There are several issues that can help give rise to problems in a marriage। A vast majority of the big problems faced in a troubled marriage are because one or a number of little problems, have not been dealt with so they got significantly bigger। It can be explained by the famous line from the movie, Cool Hand Luke with Paul Newman। "What we've got here is a failure to communicate." By not communicating, the partners in the marriage allow an issue to fester and grow until it becomes big enough to lead to a troubled marriage.
You have to face it, communication in a marriage is like the oxygen you need for breathing। If oxygen is removed from a fire, it goes out. Maybe that is what happened to the passion in your marriage. If a person stops breathing, they need CPR or they die. If couples stop communicating, it is the marriage that needs resuscitation. Without it, you can't expect to save your marriage and it will die.
If you find yourself in this situation, you need to get realistic। Accept the truth that there is no perfect marriage and that the responsibility to open a line of communication with your partner rests with you. There is really no upside to a competition between partners based on the "cold shoulder" method of communication and this can be a common marriage problem. If you are not willing to be the first one to speak but then blame your partner for not talking to you, think about it, that's just plain crazy!
Once you get realistic and become responsible for the sharing and communication necessary to deal with the issues in your troubled marriage, you well be helping to resuscitate and hopefully, save your marriage। Once the line of communication is open, each partner must be willing to help identify and recognize the things that are troubling the marriage.
After each partner has shared their communication around the issues they see as marriage problems, then both partners have to start the work to identify what can be done to fix that problem in your marriage। This is where the most critical step to saving your troubled marriage comes in to the mix. You are actually sharing solutions you see that can save your marriage and it is so important simply because it is not easy.
This critical step is about getting agreements। No solution is worth even a dime if both partners can't agree that it is in fact, a solution. Take the time to get firm agreement because if one of you isn't truly committed to this solution, you do not have an agreement! When an agreement is reached, you have come to the most important step. Write It Down! Once you have the list of agreements, make a copy for each partner. One of your agreements should be that each of you will put it in a prominent place where they will see it on a regular basis and that you will come together regularly to review it over an agreed on period of time.
While finding a solution like developing firm agreements, can be a very difficult task, it is of immediate and critical importance that you be willing to secure the tools and resources that can support you in saving your marriage। Fortunately Amy Waterman and Richard Wheeler have created a step by step guide for you to follow and save your marriage. Their program has several tools and activities, like agreement sharing, that will help you save your marriage right now.
This guide is called Save My Marriage Today, and it has all the techniques necessary to enable you to facilitate resolving conflicts, increase self esteem, learn about forgiveness, and re-ignite the passion that you both once felt, all within the privacy and comfort of your own home. Save yourself the time and embarrassment of explaining it all to a counselor. Get the answers to your most urgent issues right now! You are the best one to save your marriage. Let us show you how. It may be the best advice you have ever had!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Carol_Ann_James
Saturday, 20 June 2009
The 100% Solution To Marriage Bliss
So often we hear the statistic - "more than half of all marriages end in divorce". And, it is true. But, why? Does it have to be this way? No, there is a way of escaping it.
The 100% Solution is how to escape being one of the 50% that end in divorce.
We have also heard - "marriage is a 50-50 proposition". Really? In fact, successful marriages are a 100-100 proposition. This means I accept my mate 100% and she accepts me 100%. We allow the person on the inside to be the person on the outside, completely exposed. Absolutely nothing is hidden. Nothing is kept secret. No walls between us. No manipulation. And, most of all, No Expectations of certain behavior. The 50-50 solution implies you and your mate are holding back 50% from the relationship. This doesn't work - ever.
But, you might say - "you don't know what he/she had done to me", "he/she is a liar", "I can't trust him/her". May I boldly say - "Get over it". If you want your marriage to prosper, you must put away the past and start fresh because, honestly, you aren't perfect either. No one is the perfect wife or perfect husband or perfect mate. No one is without "sin", so-to-speak. No one does everything perfectly in relationships. Now, this does NOT mean you stay with a mate who is physically or emotionally abusing you. Do not be anyone's punching bag. Get away as fast as you can and get help.
How do I know The 100% Solution works? My wife and I have lived the 50-50 solution and we both ended in divorce from our former mates. When we married each other we had some rough spots in the beginning because we both were playing by the old 50-50 solution. Then we discovered The 100% Solution. We have been happily living The 100% Solution for over 10 years with no stress in our marriage and no arguments. When we don't agree on a course of action, we don't do it. It's simple. Why do something your partner doesn't agree with? Why create stress? Support your partner 100% and they will support you.
So, what exactly is The 100% Solution? First, I will give it to you and then tell you where we found it. As you read it, you just might recognize it. Here it is.
1) Love is patient.
2) Love is kind.
3) Love does not envy and is not pretentious. It is not ambitious or self seeking.
4) Love bears with all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
5) Love keeps no record of wrongs - it does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth.
6) Love is the eternal tie that binds us.
And we have added - Love never criticizes, condemns, or complains.
Do you recognize it? We found The 100% Solution in the Bible in 1st Corinthians - Chapter 13. We have been living it successfully because we determined to put the past behind us and create a new future - together.
If you are not interested in the Bible, another helpful resource is the book - "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray, PhD. We read this book together and discovered a few little personality quirks we were not aware of. It was a great help. You can get it from any major bookstore and on-line.
Try The 100% Solution and we know your marriage will be bliss.
Published At: Isnare Free Articles Directory http://www.isnare.comPermanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=77140&ca=Marriage
The 100% Solution is how to escape being one of the 50% that end in divorce.
We have also heard - "marriage is a 50-50 proposition". Really? In fact, successful marriages are a 100-100 proposition. This means I accept my mate 100% and she accepts me 100%. We allow the person on the inside to be the person on the outside, completely exposed. Absolutely nothing is hidden. Nothing is kept secret. No walls between us. No manipulation. And, most of all, No Expectations of certain behavior. The 50-50 solution implies you and your mate are holding back 50% from the relationship. This doesn't work - ever.
But, you might say - "you don't know what he/she had done to me", "he/she is a liar", "I can't trust him/her". May I boldly say - "Get over it". If you want your marriage to prosper, you must put away the past and start fresh because, honestly, you aren't perfect either. No one is the perfect wife or perfect husband or perfect mate. No one is without "sin", so-to-speak. No one does everything perfectly in relationships. Now, this does NOT mean you stay with a mate who is physically or emotionally abusing you. Do not be anyone's punching bag. Get away as fast as you can and get help.
How do I know The 100% Solution works? My wife and I have lived the 50-50 solution and we both ended in divorce from our former mates. When we married each other we had some rough spots in the beginning because we both were playing by the old 50-50 solution. Then we discovered The 100% Solution. We have been happily living The 100% Solution for over 10 years with no stress in our marriage and no arguments. When we don't agree on a course of action, we don't do it. It's simple. Why do something your partner doesn't agree with? Why create stress? Support your partner 100% and they will support you.
So, what exactly is The 100% Solution? First, I will give it to you and then tell you where we found it. As you read it, you just might recognize it. Here it is.
1) Love is patient.
2) Love is kind.
3) Love does not envy and is not pretentious. It is not ambitious or self seeking.
4) Love bears with all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
5) Love keeps no record of wrongs - it does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth.
6) Love is the eternal tie that binds us.
And we have added - Love never criticizes, condemns, or complains.
Do you recognize it? We found The 100% Solution in the Bible in 1st Corinthians - Chapter 13. We have been living it successfully because we determined to put the past behind us and create a new future - together.
If you are not interested in the Bible, another helpful resource is the book - "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray, PhD. We read this book together and discovered a few little personality quirks we were not aware of. It was a great help. You can get it from any major bookstore and on-line.
Try The 100% Solution and we know your marriage will be bliss.
Published At: Isnare Free Articles Directory http://www.isnare.comPermanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=77140&ca=Marriage
5 Loving Actions That Will Keep Your Love ALIVE!
It's no secret that modern life is fast-paced and getting faster every day. In this world, relationships and all the work they require can easily be seen as inefficient, time-consuming and simply not gratifying enough. For your relationship to have a healthy chance at survival, you must take steps to nurture the simple, loving aspects of your union.
5 actions that are essential for your relationship:
1. Hellos and good-byes
Greeting your partner and saying good-bye are quick and easy to do but often overlooked in the chaos of hectic schedules. A warm, expressive greeting can set the stage for the entire day. An affectionate good-bye allows you and your partner to emotionally hold on to loving feelings while separated from each other. you'd be surprised how often couples skip this simple way to book-end their days. It may seem easier to put all your morning energies into catching the 7:15 train and overlook taking the time to stop, make eye contact with your partner and genuinely wish him/her a good day. Dont fall into this trap.
2. Share the trivialities of life
Think back to a time when your relationship was new. What did you and your partner talk about? Probably anything and everything. The excitement of new love propels us to share even the smallest details of our day. Unfortunately that level of sharing often dwindles as relationships mature and responsibilities mount. Focus on the act of sharing to refuel intimacy. The simple act itself is more important than the specifics of what is shared. So make it a habit to share the trivialities of your day with your partner.
3. Learn to laugh together
Shared laughter is a surefire way to keep the connection with your partner vibrant. When you laugh, you're tapping into the playful energy that transcends life's stresses. When you and your partner make each other laugh, this energy feeds intimacy and life becomes a little less daunting. Make time for mutual playfulness and make fun of life's absurdities this will help you both cope with stress, develop perspective and achieve a greater sense of togetherness.
4. Communicate through Touch
Touch is a powerful way to communicate affection and foster intimacy. Whether you�re sitting across from each other at the dinner table or next to your partner on the sofa, make the effort to increase the amount you touch one another. Touch also has a calming effect on our bodies, so if you want to create a relaxed, loving atmosphere and make your partner feel special, lean into each other the next time you�re at the movies or watching TV.
5. Show your appreciation
It's human nature to want to be recognized for the things we do. When you express gratitude, your partner receives the message that you are thankful and are not taking him/her for granted. An atmosphere of appreciation will create positive feelings and deepen your connection. Don�t fall prey to the expectation-mindset, where you start to believe that your partner is supposed to do all the things s/he does and therefore doesnt need to be thanked for themthis mindset creates a dangerous atmosphere of complacency that erodes intimacy.
These five loving acts dont take much time and dont cost a dime but the payoff is huge. You will be taking steps to protect your marriage or relationship from the fast-paced tempo of life.
Published At: Isnare Free Articles Directory http://www.isnare.comPermanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=204197&ca=Marriage
5 actions that are essential for your relationship:
1. Hellos and good-byes
Greeting your partner and saying good-bye are quick and easy to do but often overlooked in the chaos of hectic schedules. A warm, expressive greeting can set the stage for the entire day. An affectionate good-bye allows you and your partner to emotionally hold on to loving feelings while separated from each other. you'd be surprised how often couples skip this simple way to book-end their days. It may seem easier to put all your morning energies into catching the 7:15 train and overlook taking the time to stop, make eye contact with your partner and genuinely wish him/her a good day. Dont fall into this trap.
2. Share the trivialities of life
Think back to a time when your relationship was new. What did you and your partner talk about? Probably anything and everything. The excitement of new love propels us to share even the smallest details of our day. Unfortunately that level of sharing often dwindles as relationships mature and responsibilities mount. Focus on the act of sharing to refuel intimacy. The simple act itself is more important than the specifics of what is shared. So make it a habit to share the trivialities of your day with your partner.
3. Learn to laugh together
Shared laughter is a surefire way to keep the connection with your partner vibrant. When you laugh, you're tapping into the playful energy that transcends life's stresses. When you and your partner make each other laugh, this energy feeds intimacy and life becomes a little less daunting. Make time for mutual playfulness and make fun of life's absurdities this will help you both cope with stress, develop perspective and achieve a greater sense of togetherness.
4. Communicate through Touch
Touch is a powerful way to communicate affection and foster intimacy. Whether you�re sitting across from each other at the dinner table or next to your partner on the sofa, make the effort to increase the amount you touch one another. Touch also has a calming effect on our bodies, so if you want to create a relaxed, loving atmosphere and make your partner feel special, lean into each other the next time you�re at the movies or watching TV.
5. Show your appreciation
It's human nature to want to be recognized for the things we do. When you express gratitude, your partner receives the message that you are thankful and are not taking him/her for granted. An atmosphere of appreciation will create positive feelings and deepen your connection. Don�t fall prey to the expectation-mindset, where you start to believe that your partner is supposed to do all the things s/he does and therefore doesnt need to be thanked for themthis mindset creates a dangerous atmosphere of complacency that erodes intimacy.
These five loving acts dont take much time and dont cost a dime but the payoff is huge. You will be taking steps to protect your marriage or relationship from the fast-paced tempo of life.
Published At: Isnare Free Articles Directory http://www.isnare.comPermanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=204197&ca=Marriage
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Wedding Planning Guide Secrets!!...
"Imagine if This Happened on YOUR Wedding Day!"
Dear Friend,
As you are hopefully well aware, planning a wedding is a huge task. It can be fun, but also very stressful.
You may have heard from friends and relatives not to worry about what goes wrong on your special day because inevitably there will be the odd blunder.
But does that really fill you with the confidence you need and reduce your wedding stress?
Personally I haven't seen too many weddings where there are massive disasters (I've seen a couple, but not many), but I have heard of dozens of weddings where they just didn't go as well as they had hoped.
Remember: You only get 1 shot at this! (well at least I hope that is your plan!)
Any number of things can happen and they aren't necessarily major, but good planning can alleviate all the stress of worrying about what might go wrong and allow you to enjoy your special day. Here's a few examples of disappointing things that have happened at weddings...
I remember one wedding where the bride asked the camera men to film her walking into the church. So they filmed her from the doorway from behind. She wanted to be filmed from the front!
That same wedding they ordered some throw-away cameras about 1 month before the wedding, and they didn't arrive! They wanted to have these on the tables, and they ended up having to buy some from the shop for expensive prices at the last minute. Problem solved, but oh what stress!
A friend of my husband got married 2 years ago, and at his wedding he found after when looking at the wedding photos that he hadn't got 1 single photo with his mother. What a shame for him and for her.
And unfortunate it's so easy for any one of hundreds of minor things to crop up. How can you ensure that you have a perfect wedding day that you can enjoy and look back on with eternal happiness?
Thank goodness you've found The Master Wedding Planning Guide.
I've designed my cutting-edge Master Wedding Planning Guide with YOU in mind, so that you will get the wedding of your dreams, without the stress!...
All Your Questions Answered!...
I'm sure there are many specific questions you may have about planning a wedding that you may not have the answers to, such as...
How to tell your parents you want to plan your own wedding.
Paying for the wedding... who pays for what?
What happens to traditions when you have divorced/remarried parents?
How much should you tip the wedding minister?
How should you word your wedding invitations, service booklets and thank you cards?
What to do about cultural differences.
How do you ask family members for contributions towards your wedding?
What to do about child care during a wedding?
What is first dance etiquette?
How do you let an unfashionable wedding guest know how to dress?
How many wedding gift registries should you have?
Which children should you invite to the wedding?
How can you include multiple parents/relatives in the wedding ceremony?
Which co-workers should you invite to your wedding?
Can a girl be the ringbearer? (Yes I've had a few people ask me that one)
How to set the ideal date for your wedding.
Wedding etiquette for a pregnant bride.
Who pays for bridesmaids dresses?
Who should you invite to the rehearsal dinner.
How to avoid wedding crashers?
What to do if you have a wedding date conflict.
Suggestions for who pays in a modern world.
What to do with challenging guests.
What to do if people want to bring dates and you are short on space.
How can you invite people to the wedding tactfully if you don't want to invite their children?
Who should pay for the rehearsal dinner?
What to do about divorced parents who don't get along?
Who should walk you down the aisle if you father has passed away?
... And hundreds more of YOUR questions answered...
...What I want you to know is that I designed my Master Wedding Planning Guide to be the easiest to follow system for learning how to plan a wedding available. It is jam-packed with information, including step-by-step EVERYTHING that needs to be planned, booked and organized, the questions that you must ask to make sure that you get what YOU want and avoid getting ripped off, timelines, budgets, over 250 of your questions answered, over 150 cost saving tips covering every aspect of your wedding, seating plans, bride/groom photos and much more...
...My Master Wedding Planning Guide will teach you how to plan your wedding like a professional wedding planner, so you can organize everything and be as prepared as you can be, while still having that once in a lifetime wedding you have always dreamed about - this is truly cutting-edge material!
Thousands of people worldwide, just like you, have used my unique Master Wedding Planning Guide to plan an awesome and awe-inspiring wedding, while having piles of fun in the process। Will you be next?
Please click HERE for more details...
AND BEST OF ALL... All of this information, including piles more tips and techniques for getting the absolute most out of your wedding planning experience... can be downloaded to your computer within a few minutes!!
"Imagine if This Happened on YOUR Wedding Day!"
Dear Friend,
As you are hopefully well aware, planning a wedding is a huge task. It can be fun, but also very stressful.
You may have heard from friends and relatives not to worry about what goes wrong on your special day because inevitably there will be the odd blunder.
But does that really fill you with the confidence you need and reduce your wedding stress?
Personally I haven't seen too many weddings where there are massive disasters (I've seen a couple, but not many), but I have heard of dozens of weddings where they just didn't go as well as they had hoped.
Remember: You only get 1 shot at this! (well at least I hope that is your plan!)
Any number of things can happen and they aren't necessarily major, but good planning can alleviate all the stress of worrying about what might go wrong and allow you to enjoy your special day. Here's a few examples of disappointing things that have happened at weddings...
I remember one wedding where the bride asked the camera men to film her walking into the church. So they filmed her from the doorway from behind. She wanted to be filmed from the front!
That same wedding they ordered some throw-away cameras about 1 month before the wedding, and they didn't arrive! They wanted to have these on the tables, and they ended up having to buy some from the shop for expensive prices at the last minute. Problem solved, but oh what stress!
A friend of my husband got married 2 years ago, and at his wedding he found after when looking at the wedding photos that he hadn't got 1 single photo with his mother. What a shame for him and for her.
And unfortunate it's so easy for any one of hundreds of minor things to crop up. How can you ensure that you have a perfect wedding day that you can enjoy and look back on with eternal happiness?
Thank goodness you've found The Master Wedding Planning Guide.
I've designed my cutting-edge Master Wedding Planning Guide with YOU in mind, so that you will get the wedding of your dreams, without the stress!...
All Your Questions Answered!...
I'm sure there are many specific questions you may have about planning a wedding that you may not have the answers to, such as...
How to tell your parents you want to plan your own wedding.
Paying for the wedding... who pays for what?
What happens to traditions when you have divorced/remarried parents?
How much should you tip the wedding minister?
How should you word your wedding invitations, service booklets and thank you cards?
What to do about cultural differences.
How do you ask family members for contributions towards your wedding?
What to do about child care during a wedding?
What is first dance etiquette?
How do you let an unfashionable wedding guest know how to dress?
How many wedding gift registries should you have?
Which children should you invite to the wedding?
How can you include multiple parents/relatives in the wedding ceremony?
Which co-workers should you invite to your wedding?
Can a girl be the ringbearer? (Yes I've had a few people ask me that one)
How to set the ideal date for your wedding.
Wedding etiquette for a pregnant bride.
Who pays for bridesmaids dresses?
Who should you invite to the rehearsal dinner.
How to avoid wedding crashers?
What to do if you have a wedding date conflict.
Suggestions for who pays in a modern world.
What to do with challenging guests.
What to do if people want to bring dates and you are short on space.
How can you invite people to the wedding tactfully if you don't want to invite their children?
Who should pay for the rehearsal dinner?
What to do about divorced parents who don't get along?
Who should walk you down the aisle if you father has passed away?
... And hundreds more of YOUR questions answered...
...What I want you to know is that I designed my Master Wedding Planning Guide to be the easiest to follow system for learning how to plan a wedding available. It is jam-packed with information, including step-by-step EVERYTHING that needs to be planned, booked and organized, the questions that you must ask to make sure that you get what YOU want and avoid getting ripped off, timelines, budgets, over 250 of your questions answered, over 150 cost saving tips covering every aspect of your wedding, seating plans, bride/groom photos and much more...
...My Master Wedding Planning Guide will teach you how to plan your wedding like a professional wedding planner, so you can organize everything and be as prepared as you can be, while still having that once in a lifetime wedding you have always dreamed about - this is truly cutting-edge material!
Thousands of people worldwide, just like you, have used my unique Master Wedding Planning Guide to plan an awesome and awe-inspiring wedding, while having piles of fun in the process। Will you be next?
Please click HERE for more details...
AND BEST OF ALL... All of this information, including piles more tips and techniques for getting the absolute most out of your wedding planning experience... can be downloaded to your computer within a few minutes!!
Monday, 27 April 2009
DEALING WITH INFIDELITY-HOW TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Infidelity can cause tears, anger and heartbreak। It can also lead to separation and divorce. However, dealing with infidelity with the result that it strengthens your relationship is also possible. When one partner cheats, it could be for any one of several reasons. The cheating partner might have been feeling neglected or ignored. There might have been a lack of intimacy in the marriage or an excess of alcohol one night. These things to happen and if you know how to deal with infidelity, there is a chance to work things out rather than throw everything away over one mistake.
The first thing to do is to make sure you know whether your spouse is cheating or not। You might have a "hunch" about it but this isn't proof! Just because your partner doesn't seem interested in you any more is not proof of an affair. He or she might be tired, stressed at work or have another reason for their lack of interest in bed. If your partner is cheating, they will be thinking a lot about the affair, which distracts them. They might keep their cellphone turned off or on mute. A mysterious second cellphone can also be a sign. Your partner might be away from home a lot with a variety of excuses or always "working late" but not actually in the office when you phone. You could ask your partner straight out. Depending on how good they are at lying and how they feel can give the game away too. Some people even admit to an affair if they are questioned directly.
Infidelity can cause tears, anger and heartbreak। It can also lead to separation and divorce. However, dealing with infidelity with the result that it strengthens your relationship is also possible. When one partner cheats, it could be for any one of several reasons. The cheating partner might have been feeling neglected or ignored. There might have been a lack of intimacy in the marriage or an excess of alcohol one night. These things to happen and if you know how to deal with infidelity, there is a chance to work things out rather than throw everything away over one mistake.
The first thing to do is to make sure you know whether your spouse is cheating or not। You might have a "hunch" about it but this isn't proof! Just because your partner doesn't seem interested in you any more is not proof of an affair. He or she might be tired, stressed at work or have another reason for their lack of interest in bed. If your partner is cheating, they will be thinking a lot about the affair, which distracts them. They might keep their cellphone turned off or on mute. A mysterious second cellphone can also be a sign. Your partner might be away from home a lot with a variety of excuses or always "working late" but not actually in the office when you phone. You could ask your partner straight out. Depending on how good they are at lying and how they feel can give the game away too. Some people even admit to an affair if they are questioned directly.
"love":a Word So Much Abused!
Every now and then,u hear someone utters "i love u" to his/her partner and yet at the slightest provocation this expression turns to deep seated hatred,jilting,double-dating and so on .Infact the word love has suffered much abuse.What then is love?We turn to the SOURCE OF LOVE-God Almighty for the characteristcs of love:Love is patient,and love is kind.Love is not jealous,it does not boast,and it is not proud.Love is not rudeLove is not selfishand does love does not become angry easilyLove does not remember wrongs done against it.Love is not happy with evilbut love is happy with the truthLove patiently accepts all thingsLove always trust,always hopes and always continue strongLOVE NEVER ENDS, 1Corithians 13:4-8 (Easy to read version)READ AND MEDITATE ON THE ABOVE DEFINITION;IT'L DO A LOT OF GOOD IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
http://marriageplusrelationships.blogspot.com
Every now and then,u hear someone utters "i love u" to his/her partner and yet at the slightest provocation this expression turns to deep seated hatred,jilting,double-dating and so on .Infact the word love has suffered much abuse.What then is love?We turn to the SOURCE OF LOVE-God Almighty for the characteristcs of love:Love is patient,and love is kind.Love is not jealous,it does not boast,and it is not proud.Love is not rudeLove is not selfishand does love does not become angry easilyLove does not remember wrongs done against it.Love is not happy with evilbut love is happy with the truthLove patiently accepts all thingsLove always trust,always hopes and always continue strongLOVE NEVER ENDS, 1Corithians 13:4-8 (Easy to read version)READ AND MEDITATE ON THE ABOVE DEFINITION;IT'L DO A LOT OF GOOD IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
http://marriageplusrelationships.blogspot.com
Thursday, 23 April 2009
LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP:How To Make It Work
Long distance relationships are dreadful. I know this because I'm currently living one. You watch other couples walk down the street hand-in-hand, kissing, etc., everyday and you can't do anything but envy them. So how can a long distance relationship work? How can you keep on loving someone if you can't even see them?
The answer is...it depends on how much you want it to work. True love can overcome any odds thrown in its path if you want it bad enough. So the question is, how do you do it? Well, I do not think that anyone knows exactly how to make it work, but I can certainly provide some points on making it work.
1। COMMUNICATION is the key.
In every relationship, whether near or far, if communication is taken for granted, it can cause the relationship to quiver until it eventually dies a natural death. That's why in any given circumstance, communication has to be given utmost importance. There are so many available media to ensure that the communication stays open. From snail mails and phone calls to chat systems and e-mails or e-cards. These media can be effective means to convey your hearts desires to your loved ones. Let them know about what you've been doing and thinking because in that way they will feel like they are there with you. This will also help you feel close even though you are miles apart.
2। Send off CARE PACKAGES.
It can be anything -- a little gift of flowers; a collection of the letters he has sent you designed artistically into a scrapbook; or your sweetheart's favorite jewelry -- it's really only limited to your imagination. Engaging yourself in this way is beneficial for both of you. You get to concentrate on gathering these items and putting them together, thus keeping your mind off not being together to a certain extent. Your loved one will see how much effort you put into it and how much you care. Even if it is nothing more than a card,it shows they mean enough to you that you can take the time to let them know. It never takes much money to show a little love with a small gift. Trust me, it can melt a heart!
3। Keep yourself BUSY.
You couldn't just sit there and wait 'til he comes back to you. What if he doesn't come back at all and all you did was sit and get your tummy flabby, won't that make you just miserable? You won't just be stunting your growth as an individual in the process but you'd also be developing emotional insecurities. In order to avoid that, you have to focus yourself on other things while waiting. Try to identify your passions. Get in touch with your creative nature. If you are a homebody, you can read tons of books which can help you grow intellectually and emotionally or you can choose to lounge before your computer and surf for hours to learn invaluable things over the internet. It's an endless "ways-to-make-yourself-busy" list and it is up to you to decide whichever you're interested to get involved in. But remember, being "busy" is not an excuse to forget your "special days" and worse yet, your loved one. You're doing it not just to occupy your .elf but also to allow yourself to grow even with your lover's absence.
4। HONESTY is the BEST
The path to true intimacy and connection especially in a long distance relationship is through "total honesty" to each other in the fullest sense of the words. By being authentic and telling your full truth to your loved one about your thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, issues, boundaries, etc., you are gradually building up a zone of confidence and comfort for both of you. This is very essential if you want your relationship to really last. Seeking to avoid conflict and maintain harmony by censoring yourself can work for a while but it won't take much time until your suppressed truth comes out in other ways, such as withdrawal, resentment, "acting out," etc. I know, sometimes, telling your whole truth can be difficult and even scary, but it will result in the kind of relationship that you really want-- a relationship where all the cards are laid in the table.
5। The value of TRUST
Trust is a very fundamental aspect in any relationship. That is because having trust in a relationship takes away doubt. When you trust someone you never have to question their motivation about anything and with mutual trust that relationship is solid. You must learn to be true to the relationship and must never give way to insecurities, strange feelings, suspicions and quick impulses because these will only bring your relationship down. Don't push away negative comments, or advice. Just trust in yourself and your partner. If you two are true to each other and have no hidden motives then you'll be alright. Remember "Love never fails."
6। COMMITMENT is a habit not an achievement
In every relationship, it is a must to be able to learn how to commit and be committed. For most long distance relationships, the very reason why they fail is because both parties couldn't go on with the commitment and they feel too weak to withstand the tribulations of time.If you have committed yourselves to each other without shilly-shallying, then you have a good promise ahead of you.Your comitment to each other will keep the passion alive and the fires burning thus sustaining the growth of the relationship.
7। PATIENCE is a virtue.
Being in a long distance relationship requires being steadfast and persevering. If you aren't this kind of person and you're involved in a long distance relationship, then as much as now, you better try to learn to be patient. Focus your attention on all the positive aspects of the relationship and never give your hopes up. Showing that you value your partner and the relationship and that you are willing to work patiently through it will let them know you truly love them.
8। WEBCAM
This is applicable only for those who have the comfort of having their own personal computers at home.But for those who don't, there are computers-for-rent in cafe's with webcams already attached to the computer system. Having a webcam is actually very fun and exciting. Even if you aren't together but looking at each other's face in the broad screen makes you feel like you're just so close, so near to your loved one. My boyfriend and I use Yahoo messenger to express our emotions with smileys and it's melting my heart to see him smile in the cam when he gets my messages.
9। Make special occasions SPECIAL.
It is not everyday that a special day comes so when it does, it must be celebrated no matter how far apart you are. When I speak of special occasions, I mean birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, New Year and Valentine's Day. During these occasions, you can plan out some heavy-duty phone call or an extended online time for the evening. Regardless of whether you talk every night or a couple times a week, be sure you both carve out some time for that particular night. If you're too stingy to settle on a lengthy phone call, but have cheap and unlimited online access, plan to send instant messages to each other or meet in a private chatroom somewhere. If you can't be together, at least you can be "talking" and "spending some private moments together".
10। ENJOY LIFE
Not because your loved one is away, it doesn't mean that your "life" is taken away with him as he sets on for greener pastures. You have your own life to live and you must live it up to the purpose you were created for, with or without your loved one.Anyway, we have our family and friends. What are these social beings surrounding us created for anyway?
Remember,there are definite hardships associated with this relationship style but it is important that those who thrive in a long distance relationship see the suffering, difficulties, distance and time as tools in cultivating their love and rearing up the maturity in their relationship. The best you can do is to strive to be the best of who you are as a person while your partner is away so that when he comes back to you, you are already a full-grown individual whom he will love even more and be more proud of more than ever! For now, just be happy in knowing that across the miles there is someone who thinks you are so special, they are willing to engage in a terrible thing such as a long distance relationship. Keep in mind that your suffering is not forever since your loved one will be back soon and when that time comes, everything will be much sweeter than it was back then.
Published At: http://www.isnare.com
The answer is...it depends on how much you want it to work. True love can overcome any odds thrown in its path if you want it bad enough. So the question is, how do you do it? Well, I do not think that anyone knows exactly how to make it work, but I can certainly provide some points on making it work.
1। COMMUNICATION is the key.
In every relationship, whether near or far, if communication is taken for granted, it can cause the relationship to quiver until it eventually dies a natural death. That's why in any given circumstance, communication has to be given utmost importance. There are so many available media to ensure that the communication stays open. From snail mails and phone calls to chat systems and e-mails or e-cards. These media can be effective means to convey your hearts desires to your loved ones. Let them know about what you've been doing and thinking because in that way they will feel like they are there with you. This will also help you feel close even though you are miles apart.
2। Send off CARE PACKAGES.
It can be anything -- a little gift of flowers; a collection of the letters he has sent you designed artistically into a scrapbook; or your sweetheart's favorite jewelry -- it's really only limited to your imagination. Engaging yourself in this way is beneficial for both of you. You get to concentrate on gathering these items and putting them together, thus keeping your mind off not being together to a certain extent. Your loved one will see how much effort you put into it and how much you care. Even if it is nothing more than a card,it shows they mean enough to you that you can take the time to let them know. It never takes much money to show a little love with a small gift. Trust me, it can melt a heart!
3। Keep yourself BUSY.
You couldn't just sit there and wait 'til he comes back to you. What if he doesn't come back at all and all you did was sit and get your tummy flabby, won't that make you just miserable? You won't just be stunting your growth as an individual in the process but you'd also be developing emotional insecurities. In order to avoid that, you have to focus yourself on other things while waiting. Try to identify your passions. Get in touch with your creative nature. If you are a homebody, you can read tons of books which can help you grow intellectually and emotionally or you can choose to lounge before your computer and surf for hours to learn invaluable things over the internet. It's an endless "ways-to-make-yourself-busy" list and it is up to you to decide whichever you're interested to get involved in. But remember, being "busy" is not an excuse to forget your "special days" and worse yet, your loved one. You're doing it not just to occupy your .elf but also to allow yourself to grow even with your lover's absence.
4। HONESTY is the BEST
The path to true intimacy and connection especially in a long distance relationship is through "total honesty" to each other in the fullest sense of the words. By being authentic and telling your full truth to your loved one about your thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, issues, boundaries, etc., you are gradually building up a zone of confidence and comfort for both of you. This is very essential if you want your relationship to really last. Seeking to avoid conflict and maintain harmony by censoring yourself can work for a while but it won't take much time until your suppressed truth comes out in other ways, such as withdrawal, resentment, "acting out," etc. I know, sometimes, telling your whole truth can be difficult and even scary, but it will result in the kind of relationship that you really want-- a relationship where all the cards are laid in the table.
5। The value of TRUST
Trust is a very fundamental aspect in any relationship. That is because having trust in a relationship takes away doubt. When you trust someone you never have to question their motivation about anything and with mutual trust that relationship is solid. You must learn to be true to the relationship and must never give way to insecurities, strange feelings, suspicions and quick impulses because these will only bring your relationship down. Don't push away negative comments, or advice. Just trust in yourself and your partner. If you two are true to each other and have no hidden motives then you'll be alright. Remember "Love never fails."
6। COMMITMENT is a habit not an achievement
In every relationship, it is a must to be able to learn how to commit and be committed. For most long distance relationships, the very reason why they fail is because both parties couldn't go on with the commitment and they feel too weak to withstand the tribulations of time.If you have committed yourselves to each other without shilly-shallying, then you have a good promise ahead of you.Your comitment to each other will keep the passion alive and the fires burning thus sustaining the growth of the relationship.
7। PATIENCE is a virtue.
Being in a long distance relationship requires being steadfast and persevering. If you aren't this kind of person and you're involved in a long distance relationship, then as much as now, you better try to learn to be patient. Focus your attention on all the positive aspects of the relationship and never give your hopes up. Showing that you value your partner and the relationship and that you are willing to work patiently through it will let them know you truly love them.
8। WEBCAM
This is applicable only for those who have the comfort of having their own personal computers at home.But for those who don't, there are computers-for-rent in cafe's with webcams already attached to the computer system. Having a webcam is actually very fun and exciting. Even if you aren't together but looking at each other's face in the broad screen makes you feel like you're just so close, so near to your loved one. My boyfriend and I use Yahoo messenger to express our emotions with smileys and it's melting my heart to see him smile in the cam when he gets my messages.
9। Make special occasions SPECIAL.
It is not everyday that a special day comes so when it does, it must be celebrated no matter how far apart you are. When I speak of special occasions, I mean birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, New Year and Valentine's Day. During these occasions, you can plan out some heavy-duty phone call or an extended online time for the evening. Regardless of whether you talk every night or a couple times a week, be sure you both carve out some time for that particular night. If you're too stingy to settle on a lengthy phone call, but have cheap and unlimited online access, plan to send instant messages to each other or meet in a private chatroom somewhere. If you can't be together, at least you can be "talking" and "spending some private moments together".
10। ENJOY LIFE
Not because your loved one is away, it doesn't mean that your "life" is taken away with him as he sets on for greener pastures. You have your own life to live and you must live it up to the purpose you were created for, with or without your loved one.Anyway, we have our family and friends. What are these social beings surrounding us created for anyway?
Remember,there are definite hardships associated with this relationship style but it is important that those who thrive in a long distance relationship see the suffering, difficulties, distance and time as tools in cultivating their love and rearing up the maturity in their relationship. The best you can do is to strive to be the best of who you are as a person while your partner is away so that when he comes back to you, you are already a full-grown individual whom he will love even more and be more proud of more than ever! For now, just be happy in knowing that across the miles there is someone who thinks you are so special, they are willing to engage in a terrible thing such as a long distance relationship. Keep in mind that your suffering is not forever since your loved one will be back soon and when that time comes, everything will be much sweeter than it was back then.
Published At: http://www.isnare.com
Wednesday, 22 April 2009
JEALOUSY PROBLEMS:DOES IT DESTROY LOVE?
The answer to that question is that yes, literally jealousy can destroy love in a relationship। This applies to both the jealous person and the victim of the jealousy as this destructive emotion has the power to damage and break up a relationship। Insecurity is the root of jealous feelings and these feelings can be very addictive as well as full of powerful, raw emotions।
Jealousy problems frequently happen to two people in a relationship। And if the issue is not addressed early on in the relationship, typical control issues and problems may start when accusations based on real or imagined suspicious behavior by the other partner. These worries blossom could blossom into an obsessive type of jealousy that creates problems with both partners if the issues are not addressed right away.
When there is the threat of losing a loved one many people let go of rational thought and dive deep into very powerful emotions they can’t always control। These emotions are extreme anger, fear of losing control, and unhealed pain from past losses. Some of it is also learned behavior experienced while growing up with family such as parents or relatives. Whatever the case may be, these untamed emotions hurt and frighten both the jealous person and the person that is the victim of the jealousy.
The negative association to jealousy is that it hurts and destroys the love between two people in relationship। Most people in a committed relationship love each other and do not want to destroy that special bond and love between each other. Remember: jealousy is not proof that a relationship is built on love. The addictive feeling can literally take over a relationship so that one of the partners begins to lose love and desire for the other partner. There is nothing positive and no good can come from angry, controlling behavior except that in the long run, both partners will eventually break up as a result---if the jealousy problems are not addressed.
When you think that your partner has gone overboard in accusations that seem overly suspicious or paranoid, it’s time the you seek professional help। It’s common that the jealous person may focus on being over possessive that has paranoid and suspicious accusations that going along with it. If your partner will not go, then you should make an appointment for yourself first. An experienced counselor or psychologist that deal with relationships will be able to help you. As a prospective client, interview the counselor first—if they do not seem to have a good grasp of your situation, keep trying to find someone else you can resonate with.
Many average relationships will experience some healthy insecurity and anxiety issues that is normal and typical of most relationships। Once these insecurity issues cross the line with uncalled for accusations, uncontrolled emotion, and constant scrutiny of your activities---then you probably have a problem. If your partner is overly concerned with you by constant phone calls, emails, or texting, then you have reason to be concerned. And if a partner turns into a more violent and accusing person that is obsessed with controlling the other partner, then there is another more serious problem that needs to be addressed.
If you are an overly possessive person who has jealousy issues, realize that jealousy has the power to destroy love---it has that strong potential to break up couples। Realize that if you want to keep your partner, you must take charge of your emotions. This is what may help save your relationship if you take control of your emotions. This also means make an appointment with a professional about your concerns and worries, and bring your partner with you if you wish. But take action to get control of the situation by promising your partner that you are willing to do what it takes to change your behavior. And take action to do it. If you love your partner, you will try to save your relationship.
If you are experiencing a jealous partner, let them know that trust and confidence in your love for each other is important to you. Tell them that to you, this is what love really is---not angry controlling behavior. If you still want to save the relationship, your main goal mutually is to make the relationship more secure, committed with trust and hope that you both can share together.
Published At: http://www.isnare.com
Jealousy problems frequently happen to two people in a relationship। And if the issue is not addressed early on in the relationship, typical control issues and problems may start when accusations based on real or imagined suspicious behavior by the other partner. These worries blossom could blossom into an obsessive type of jealousy that creates problems with both partners if the issues are not addressed right away.
When there is the threat of losing a loved one many people let go of rational thought and dive deep into very powerful emotions they can’t always control। These emotions are extreme anger, fear of losing control, and unhealed pain from past losses. Some of it is also learned behavior experienced while growing up with family such as parents or relatives. Whatever the case may be, these untamed emotions hurt and frighten both the jealous person and the person that is the victim of the jealousy.
The negative association to jealousy is that it hurts and destroys the love between two people in relationship। Most people in a committed relationship love each other and do not want to destroy that special bond and love between each other. Remember: jealousy is not proof that a relationship is built on love. The addictive feeling can literally take over a relationship so that one of the partners begins to lose love and desire for the other partner. There is nothing positive and no good can come from angry, controlling behavior except that in the long run, both partners will eventually break up as a result---if the jealousy problems are not addressed.
When you think that your partner has gone overboard in accusations that seem overly suspicious or paranoid, it’s time the you seek professional help। It’s common that the jealous person may focus on being over possessive that has paranoid and suspicious accusations that going along with it. If your partner will not go, then you should make an appointment for yourself first. An experienced counselor or psychologist that deal with relationships will be able to help you. As a prospective client, interview the counselor first—if they do not seem to have a good grasp of your situation, keep trying to find someone else you can resonate with.
Many average relationships will experience some healthy insecurity and anxiety issues that is normal and typical of most relationships। Once these insecurity issues cross the line with uncalled for accusations, uncontrolled emotion, and constant scrutiny of your activities---then you probably have a problem. If your partner is overly concerned with you by constant phone calls, emails, or texting, then you have reason to be concerned. And if a partner turns into a more violent and accusing person that is obsessed with controlling the other partner, then there is another more serious problem that needs to be addressed.
If you are an overly possessive person who has jealousy issues, realize that jealousy has the power to destroy love---it has that strong potential to break up couples। Realize that if you want to keep your partner, you must take charge of your emotions. This is what may help save your relationship if you take control of your emotions. This also means make an appointment with a professional about your concerns and worries, and bring your partner with you if you wish. But take action to get control of the situation by promising your partner that you are willing to do what it takes to change your behavior. And take action to do it. If you love your partner, you will try to save your relationship.
If you are experiencing a jealous partner, let them know that trust and confidence in your love for each other is important to you. Tell them that to you, this is what love really is---not angry controlling behavior. If you still want to save the relationship, your main goal mutually is to make the relationship more secure, committed with trust and hope that you both can share together.
Published At: http://www.isnare.com
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
The Seven Most Important Tips To Rescue Your Relationship
A relationship is something you have to nurture. Sometimes all of us make the mistake of taking our partner for granted or our partner starts taking us for granted. Now we are in trouble, our relationship is heading for disaster. If you are there and you are in dire need of some tips to rescue your relationship, I have the top seven most important ones for you.
1. Stop arguing:
You have to give yourself time to calm down and to stop arguing. If you are upset and emotional you will not be able to take the steps you need to take to rescue your relationship.
2. Stop accusing your partner:
This is also very important. Maybe it is part of the “stop arguing” but as it is so important I make it a separate point. As long as you keep accusing your partner of whatever, you will not be able to rescue your relationship! Please, just bite your tongue, if you have to. If you want to save it, you have to stop!
3. Try and observe what is really going on:
Try and really get behind everything that is going on. What are the real reasons you are having problems. Sometimes the things we argue about are not the real problem. The arguing is often only a symptom of something deeper that is wrong. By staying calm and really observing what is happening, you may just find out what it is. Take special note of what it may be that you are doing. Sometimes we are the real problem without really knowing it.
4. Start with yourself:
This is very important. First of all you have to start correcting all the things you are responsible for. If your work schedule is the reason you are drifting apart, you have to try and come up with a solutions that will give you more time together. If you are neglecting your partner because you are spending too much time with your friends, try and come up with a plan how you can spend time with your friends, but still spend more time with your partner.
Make a plan, whatever it is you can do, do it first before you expect your partner to do anything. You have to show your partner that you are committed to it and are willing to make sacrifices to rescue your relationship.
5. Show your love:
The next step is to show your love without smothering your partner. Do the little things you know your partner loves. Make your partner feel special all over again. What is it that drew you together in the first place? How did you behave? What were the little things you used to do to make your partner feel special? Things like that. Rekindle the loving care there used to be.
6. Make as many opportunities as possible for the two of you to do things together that you both love:
Spending time with each other, doing the things you love, is the best way to start the process to rescue your relationship! Having fun together will put you both in a good mood. It will also show you once again why you are a couple in the first place, what the magic between the two of you were all about. This is a very important part of saving it, get the fun back.
7. Now you can discuss the problems:
Only once you are calm and you and your partner are able to spend some fun time together again can you discuss the problems with your partner. This is where you have to come up with the plans that will prevent you from going off the rails again. Make plans to take specific measures that will help. Be realistic! Do not expect too much from your partner. Keep the realities of life in mind and work around it. It is important not to try and accomplish the impossible, it will not work and then you are back at square one!
Published At: http://www.isnare.com
1. Stop arguing:
You have to give yourself time to calm down and to stop arguing. If you are upset and emotional you will not be able to take the steps you need to take to rescue your relationship.
2. Stop accusing your partner:
This is also very important. Maybe it is part of the “stop arguing” but as it is so important I make it a separate point. As long as you keep accusing your partner of whatever, you will not be able to rescue your relationship! Please, just bite your tongue, if you have to. If you want to save it, you have to stop!
3. Try and observe what is really going on:
Try and really get behind everything that is going on. What are the real reasons you are having problems. Sometimes the things we argue about are not the real problem. The arguing is often only a symptom of something deeper that is wrong. By staying calm and really observing what is happening, you may just find out what it is. Take special note of what it may be that you are doing. Sometimes we are the real problem without really knowing it.
4. Start with yourself:
This is very important. First of all you have to start correcting all the things you are responsible for. If your work schedule is the reason you are drifting apart, you have to try and come up with a solutions that will give you more time together. If you are neglecting your partner because you are spending too much time with your friends, try and come up with a plan how you can spend time with your friends, but still spend more time with your partner.
Make a plan, whatever it is you can do, do it first before you expect your partner to do anything. You have to show your partner that you are committed to it and are willing to make sacrifices to rescue your relationship.
5. Show your love:
The next step is to show your love without smothering your partner. Do the little things you know your partner loves. Make your partner feel special all over again. What is it that drew you together in the first place? How did you behave? What were the little things you used to do to make your partner feel special? Things like that. Rekindle the loving care there used to be.
6. Make as many opportunities as possible for the two of you to do things together that you both love:
Spending time with each other, doing the things you love, is the best way to start the process to rescue your relationship! Having fun together will put you both in a good mood. It will also show you once again why you are a couple in the first place, what the magic between the two of you were all about. This is a very important part of saving it, get the fun back.
7. Now you can discuss the problems:
Only once you are calm and you and your partner are able to spend some fun time together again can you discuss the problems with your partner. This is where you have to come up with the plans that will prevent you from going off the rails again. Make plans to take specific measures that will help. Be realistic! Do not expect too much from your partner. Keep the realities of life in mind and work around it. It is important not to try and accomplish the impossible, it will not work and then you are back at square one!
Published At: http://www.isnare.com
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
FROM VANGUARD NEWSPAPER RELATIONSHIP COLUMN
Torn between my wife and my mistress
Written by Bunmi Sofola
Wednesday, 08 April 2009
Dear Bunmi
,,My friends have the impression that I lead a rather exciting life with a wonderful wife and a beautiful, young lover but the truth is, I have two half-lives! I am 38 and have been married for 12 years to a woman I cherished but who sees me more as a companion than a lover. We have four children - three girls and a boy. We live in our own house as I have a high-profile and well paid job.
My life changed forever about four years ago when I met a young, attractive, intelligent actress who fulfill my every dream। She’s an ambitious 27-year-old and we got on well right from the word go. She is attentive and affectionate, loving, fun in and out of bed. She’s taught me a lot about love-making and we have wild sex most of the time. We also like the same things - music, food and movies - and we truly are soul mates.It was inevitable that my wife got to know about my lover but she hasn’t pressured me to give her up, though secretly, both women want me to ditch the other, but they offer me different things. Staying with my wife means security but the other woman offers me true love. My lover swears she’ll be with me forever and now wants my child but at just 27, who knows how long her love will last? I love them both but can’t make a choice.Osa,
Dear Osa,It must be obvious to you by now that you are at a cross-roads and whichever road you take means leaving something behind। You might toy with the idea of having it all, but then, you might lose it all. You paint a picture of a dull marriage but played a part in creating that too. Your lover now wants a child, but what about the ones you already have who need their father?Before you get carried away by the lust this actress offers, remember she’s professionally trained to play roles and you might not really be certain of what you’d be letting yourself into by fathering her child. You’ve learnt a lot from your actress ‘teacher’ about sex, why don’t you pass some of this to your wife? Who knows, behind what you think is a cool exterior might be a fire waiting to be lit. like most men, you seem to prefer a hum-drum wife and a wild mistress but you just might have both qualities in your wife.
Written by Bunmi Sofola
Wednesday, 08 April 2009
Dear Bunmi
,,My friends have the impression that I lead a rather exciting life with a wonderful wife and a beautiful, young lover but the truth is, I have two half-lives! I am 38 and have been married for 12 years to a woman I cherished but who sees me more as a companion than a lover. We have four children - three girls and a boy. We live in our own house as I have a high-profile and well paid job.
My life changed forever about four years ago when I met a young, attractive, intelligent actress who fulfill my every dream। She’s an ambitious 27-year-old and we got on well right from the word go. She is attentive and affectionate, loving, fun in and out of bed. She’s taught me a lot about love-making and we have wild sex most of the time. We also like the same things - music, food and movies - and we truly are soul mates.It was inevitable that my wife got to know about my lover but she hasn’t pressured me to give her up, though secretly, both women want me to ditch the other, but they offer me different things. Staying with my wife means security but the other woman offers me true love. My lover swears she’ll be with me forever and now wants my child but at just 27, who knows how long her love will last? I love them both but can’t make a choice.Osa,
Dear Osa,It must be obvious to you by now that you are at a cross-roads and whichever road you take means leaving something behind। You might toy with the idea of having it all, but then, you might lose it all. You paint a picture of a dull marriage but played a part in creating that too. Your lover now wants a child, but what about the ones you already have who need their father?Before you get carried away by the lust this actress offers, remember she’s professionally trained to play roles and you might not really be certain of what you’d be letting yourself into by fathering her child. You’ve learnt a lot from your actress ‘teacher’ about sex, why don’t you pass some of this to your wife? Who knows, behind what you think is a cool exterior might be a fire waiting to be lit. like most men, you seem to prefer a hum-drum wife and a wild mistress but you just might have both qualities in your wife.
5 EASY TIPS FOR HAPPY MARRIAGE
Everybody wants a happy marriage. However, nobody seems to want to do what it takes to have one. Most people want to have everything go their way, but that's not realistic and most likely won't happen. Therefore, put these 5 tips to work in your relationship so your marriage can be its best.
1. The first thing you need to do to have a happy marriage is be self-less. It's not easy, but it does work. Selfishness and being self-centered are major causes of an unhappy marriage. If you both put this principle into practice your marriage will be problem free.
2. Showing that you care is another way to have a happy marriage. This helps your partner feel loved and secure. Doing the little things like buying gifts for no reason and giving them attention really does wonders for their self esteem.
3. Learning to make sacrifices helps keep a marriage happy by letting things go that could escalate into an argument. Do you want to have a happy marriage or do you need to be right all the time? Don't allow pride to get in the way, keep the peace.
4. Intimacy is essential for a happy marriage with kisses, hugs, touching, I love you's, hand holding and of course sex. Lack of sex or dull sex can put a huge strain on a marriage.
5. Good communication is a must for marriage to be a happy one, no secrets allowed. Everything should be discussed honestly and openly without fear of being berated.If you put these 5 easy tips into practice everyday you will have a happy marriage. For it to work you both have to be willing it cannot be one-sided.
1. The first thing you need to do to have a happy marriage is be self-less. It's not easy, but it does work. Selfishness and being self-centered are major causes of an unhappy marriage. If you both put this principle into practice your marriage will be problem free.
2. Showing that you care is another way to have a happy marriage. This helps your partner feel loved and secure. Doing the little things like buying gifts for no reason and giving them attention really does wonders for their self esteem.
3. Learning to make sacrifices helps keep a marriage happy by letting things go that could escalate into an argument. Do you want to have a happy marriage or do you need to be right all the time? Don't allow pride to get in the way, keep the peace.
4. Intimacy is essential for a happy marriage with kisses, hugs, touching, I love you's, hand holding and of course sex. Lack of sex or dull sex can put a huge strain on a marriage.
5. Good communication is a must for marriage to be a happy one, no secrets allowed. Everything should be discussed honestly and openly without fear of being berated.If you put these 5 easy tips into practice everyday you will have a happy marriage. For it to work you both have to be willing it cannot be one-sided.
5 EASY TIPS FOR HAPPY MARRIAGE
Everybody wants a happy marriage. However, nobody seems to want to do what it takes to have one. Most people want to have everything go their way, but that's not realistic and most likely won't happen. Therefore, put these 5 tips to work in your relationship so your marriage can be its best.
1. The first thing you need to do to have a happy marriage is be self-less. It's not easy, but it does work. Selfishness and being self-centered are major causes of an unhappy marriage. If you both put this principle into practice your marriage will be problem free.
2. Showing that you care is another way to have a happy marriage. This helps your partner feel loved and secure. Doing the little things like buying gifts for no reason and giving them attention really does wonders for their self esteem.
3. Learning to make sacrifices helps keep a marriage happy by letting things go that could escalate into an argument. Do you want to have a happy marriage or do you need to be right all the time? Don't allow pride to get in the way, keep the peace.
4. Intimacy is essential for a happy marriage with kisses, hugs, touching, I love you's, hand holding and of course sex. Lack of sex or dull sex can put a huge strain on a marriage.
5. Good communication is a must for marriage to be a happy one, no secrets allowed. Everything should be discussed honestly and openly without fear of being berated.If you put these 5 easy tips into practice everyday you will have a happy marriage. For it to work you both have to be willing it cannot be one-sided.
1. The first thing you need to do to have a happy marriage is be self-less. It's not easy, but it does work. Selfishness and being self-centered are major causes of an unhappy marriage. If you both put this principle into practice your marriage will be problem free.
2. Showing that you care is another way to have a happy marriage. This helps your partner feel loved and secure. Doing the little things like buying gifts for no reason and giving them attention really does wonders for their self esteem.
3. Learning to make sacrifices helps keep a marriage happy by letting things go that could escalate into an argument. Do you want to have a happy marriage or do you need to be right all the time? Don't allow pride to get in the way, keep the peace.
4. Intimacy is essential for a happy marriage with kisses, hugs, touching, I love you's, hand holding and of course sex. Lack of sex or dull sex can put a huge strain on a marriage.
5. Good communication is a must for marriage to be a happy one, no secrets allowed. Everything should be discussed honestly and openly without fear of being berated.If you put these 5 easy tips into practice everyday you will have a happy marriage. For it to work you both have to be willing it cannot be one-sided.
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