You don't want divorce, but if your relationship is rocky and appears to be headed in that general direction, there are some things to consider, some steps you can take to prevent it. While they may not be completely successful, the tips in this article may help and are certainly worth a try if, truly, you don't want divorce.
If you don't want divorce, but your spouse has made his/her intentions clear, don't argue. Don't nag, don't whine, just remain quiet. Complaining or carrying on about how you don't want divorce is not going to help.
State your case simply, that you don't want divorce, and leave it at that. That's all you can do, really, without making matters worse. It might be possible to tell your partner-in a calm moment, of course-that all couples go through this sort of thing, or that counseling might help, but don't harp in these subjects.
If you go on and on about wanting to stay married, you will only make your partner's desire to get away even stronger. Instead of pushing them away, you can try to remind them why they were attracted to you in the first place, not verbally, but by being attractive and desirable again.
You can be assured, you are not being attractive when you are complaining. Have you ever wondered if nagging and complaining might have had something to do with the erosion of your partner's affection and dedication to your marriage?
You will, in effect, begin to court your partner again, if you don't want divorce. This means being attractive and pleasant all the time. How did you behave when the two of first started dating? Were you kind and thoughtful? That's the kind of conduct everyone is capable of, that's what wins people over. It's when the commitment to each other is made that niceties are relaxed and the anxieties people worked so hard to hide start to come out.
Put your worries and whining back in the closet and get back on your very best behavior.
Another ingredient to add in this mix is being congenial. You don't need to agree with everything but don't be argumentative, either. Being agreeable means allowing others to have their opinion without it affecting yours. Arguing your point all the time will make the partner feel like they can never do or say the right thing. That's hardly conducive when you don't want divorce in the picture.
So, if you don't want divorce, learn to allow your partner the space to have their own ideas and opinions and do not force yours down their throat. It's okay to have differing opinions and ideas. It's not okay to fight about who's right. What does it really matter who is right, anyway? If you don't want divorce, then learn to accept your partner as having different ideas.
Just because you don't want divorce does not mean you must change the way you think. It just means that you are working to rescue your relationship and anything that antagonizes the situation is out of the question. Keep your opinions, just keep them to yourself.
If you don't want divorce, then altering your ways for the time being will be required at least until the two of you learn how to get along better.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Danny_Walton
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
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