FROM VANGUARD NEWSPAPER RELATIONSHIP COLUMN

Torn between my wife and my mistress

Written by Bunmi Sofola
Wednesday, 08 April 2009


Dear Bunmi
,,My friends have the impression that I lead a rather exciting life with a wonderful wife and a beautiful, young lover but the truth is, I have two half-lives! I am 38 and have been married for 12 years to a woman I cherished but who sees me more as a companion than a lover. We have four children - three girls and a boy. We live in our own house as I have a high-profile and well paid job.
My life changed forever about four years ago when I met a young, attractive, intelligent actress who fulfill my every dream। She’s an ambitious 27-year-old and we got on well right from the word go. She is attentive and affectionate, loving, fun in and out of bed. She’s taught me a lot about love-making and we have wild sex most of the time. We also like the same things - music, food and movies - and we truly are soul mates.It was inevitable that my wife got to know about my lover but she hasn’t pressured me to give her up, though secretly, both women want me to ditch the other, but they offer me different things. Staying with my wife means security but the other woman offers me true love. My lover swears she’ll be with me forever and now wants my child but at just 27, who knows how long her love will last? I love them both but can’t make a choice.Osa,

Dear Osa,It must be obvious to you by now that you are at a cross-roads and whichever road you take means leaving something behind। You might toy with the idea of having it all, but then, you might lose it all. You paint a picture of a dull marriage but played a part in creating that too. Your lover now wants a child, but what about the ones you already have who need their father?Before you get carried away by the lust this actress offers, remember she’s professionally trained to play roles and you might not really be certain of what you’d be letting yourself into by fathering her child. You’ve learnt a lot from your actress ‘teacher’ about sex, why don’t you pass some of this to your wife? Who knows, behind what you think is a cool exterior might be a fire waiting to be lit. like most men, you seem to prefer a hum-drum wife and a wild mistress but you just might have both qualities in your wife.